| Sharks unveil new goal
San Jose to overhaul marketing
As the playoffs approach, the Sharks put one of
their pressing needs to bed on Friday when they unveiled their new goal song.
Executive Vice President and Chief Sales and Marketing Officer Flavil Hampsten
announced that the Sharks are adopting the Helen Reddy anthem "I
am Woman" to celebrate every goal the Sharks score. Insiders have
attributed the lack off an inspiring goal song as the reason the Sharks have
struggled mightily on home ice this season.
With an eye on attracting
more women fans this season, Reddy's trademark song is seen as a way to attract
the career minded (and more importantly heavily funded) female fan with its
Who can relate to the lyrics better than a Sharks
I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an' pretend
'Cause I've heard it all
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever gonna keep
me down again
Hampsten suggested that the Sharks would lean on more
female fan friendly promotions and on-ice traditions. The Sharks have already
submitted a proposal to have tie-down straps removed from player jerseys, so
that when to players fight, the jersey is more likely to be removed. Players
would not be allowed to wear undershirts, thereby exposing more flesh when
jerseys are pulled off.
In order to guarantee more skin for the
ladies, players will award only female fans with game worn jerseys on Fan
Appreciation Night, but they will present their sweaters only wearing jock
straps. All roster players from Europe would be exempt from the requirement, as
their physiques are considered to girl-like and would counter the intent of the
Following home wins, players will move away from their
traditional stick salute, and instead will blow kisses to female fans in the
The shift toward the female market does have its advantages. A
source inside the team said that a change was necessary given all the empty
seats this season.
"Women don't care about winning, so we elected to
focus on a demographic that would be more likely to renew season tickets year
after year," said the source.
In order make the ice more appealing to
the ladies, the team will add "facial appearance" as a qualifier in all future
scouting. That does not bode well for players like Roman Polak and Brent
SAP Center concessions are poised to debut the
Shark-a-rita and the Barracooler wine spritzer at what were formerly beer
vending stations. Food options will be feature longer and girthier hot dogs.
The 25th Anniversary season will be capped with an Alumni Night
featuring former Shark Mike Ricci, who was voted the "Denver's Sexiest Man"
when he played for the Colorado Avalanche. While he will attend Fan
Appreciation night, Ricci rejected Hampsten's proposal to feature him in a
kissing booth on the concourse.
San Jose attempted to have Reddy come
sing her feminist anthem live at SAP Center, but the 74-year old singer did not
want to encroach on "Dionne Warwick Territory." Friends close to the Australian
say that Reddy is protesting wage disparity in the United States, and feels
that the Silicon Valley has done little to offset the disparity in salaries
between men and women.
Reddy considered preventing the Sharks from
using her song at all, but then realized that she hadn't collected any
royalties on it in over 30 years. Sharks GM Doug Wilson was kept out of
contract negotiations with Reddy's camp, as Sharks owner Hasso Plattner was
afraid Wilson would overpay Reddy for the rights to the song.
was leaning toward the David Hasselhoff hit "Wir zwei allein" as the new goal song, but it didn't resonate
with American fans, although it did test well with female fans aged 50 to 60.
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